Pictures

Since I was a baby my dad would take pictures of me and my sister, all the time.  He was a photographer in his heart but not always in his profession. But boy did he love to take pictures of his kids.  We were willing subjects because he always made it fun, or at least for me it was. Now my sister hated taking pictures. She has other issues I won't get into.  But I loved it.  I got my first camera at 6 and lost it by 7.  Go figure I was a kid. But I never lost the curiosity of learning photography. My dad still has the cameras he used to take my picture as a kid.  I have followed  in his footsteps and have had a love of photography.  One thing I have learned is the it is not always the subject that benefits from having their picture taken.  But it is the photographer that it makes a world of difference to.  She has that tangible memory to hold on to when the subject is either grown up or moved away.  This is especially important to me because if you look at many of my pictures I am rarely in them.  I am usually taking them so I can't be in them.  This only deprives me from gaining perspective on myself and on seeing my interactions with my children, friends and family.  I have made a conscious decision to get into the picture.  I look back at 10 years of family photos and I am absent from so many moments.  I remember being there but when my kids look at these pictures will they?  The thing about being in the picture is that when I am overweight I do not want my picture taken because I don't want to see myself.  For a short while this year I was taking pictures of myself everyday to track my weight loss in pictures.  I only did it for a week then stopped. I started to look at myself differently and I didn't like what I saw. So I stopped getting in the pictures. I have to start up again but I think I have to limit it to one picture a week